WTF just happened to your life? Three days ago you were contentedly living with your long-term partner. Today? You’re single. Before you run to Wegman’s to buy a gallon of ice cream, a box of tissues, Titanic and How Stella Got Her Groove Back, pour yourself a delicious cocktail and prepare for some awesome advice.
The very first thing I do after a breakup is call my girlfriends to celebrate. I realize that some women aren’t as happy as I tend to be after this type of situation. Some women get squished in the relationship and can finally breathe. Others might be feeling confused, hurt and alone. But I really believe this is applicable – CELEBRATE! You don’t necessarily have to celebrate the end of something, just the begging of something new! There are millions of things women can do to boost self-esteem. Dress up and go out with friends. Go on a wine tour, to a movie, get super-hooch and go clubbing all night, do lunch…whatever! Just get pretty and have fun with the girls.
When you’re ready to get back out there in the big, bad world of dating, remember that you’re looking for someone you can connect with. The best place to find someone is somewhere you weren’t even looking. Join a yoga class, town ball team, craft or cooking workshop, even your local theater guild. Have a wine or beer tasting party at your house and have attendees bring their favorite wine/beer and a guest! Have a themed costume party! Surround yourself with your friends’ friends. Your circle will get bigger, you’ll develop more friendships, learn new things and – almost by accident – your self-esteem will be sky-high.
Depending upon how long your relationship lasted, you may need to familiarize yourself with the new world of dating. There are web sites for soul mates, web sites for love, web sites for flings and even a web site for discreet cheating. Social networks like Facebook and MySpace are an almost never-ending source for finding new people with similar interests to befriend, or even more.
When you do find someone you’re interested in connecting with, remember what it is that you want out of a relationship. Try to sway from any obvious patterns you’ve made when choosing mates. Instead, let a new friendship grow into something more. It can be very rewarding to live with and love your best friend.
You don’t have to jump back in the saddle the second a cute guy makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. But you also shouldn’t dismiss any tingles because “you’re just not ready yet.” The key is to just let it happen. Now chug that cocktail and get dressed up!